Do you claim you want to lose weight, feel better about yourself, forgive those who hurt you? Do you give it a shot, stumble, fall, draw back, and give up before you've gone too far? The people who market affirmations as the path to success would say you just haven't affirmed hard enough or held onto your vision with enough dedication and feeling.
In fact, the truth may be that our subconscious--which some say makes up 90% of our energy field-- just doesn't want us to succeed or part of us is too threatened with the idea of changing our familiar pattern, which has served to protect us and keep us safe all these years. We might not know who we'd be without our familiar "story" and struggles. So despite our persistence in "going on a diet" or vowing to "start now to feel better about myself" --or whatever your core issue is-- these attempts aren't fully aligned with our entire energy, and are almost bound to fail.
So, what's the answer? Should we just give up and say, "Well, I've tried before and failed, and besides, people don't or can't change who they are, so why bother?"
That's not particularly satisfying either, is it?
How about working toward your goal in little increments that don't feel too threatening. You can create an affirmation that feels realistic for where you are at the moment and use whatever energy healing technique you know (or ask me for help) to clear your resistance to it and to slowly and gently move toward your desired goal.
For instance, instead of affirming, "I'm going to lose 15 pounds in the next 6 weeks," which part of you might balk against and consider too radical, you could consider saying, "Even though I'm scared by the idea of having to lose weight because look how many times I've tried and failed in the past, I choose to begin to consider the possibility of shedding a pound in the next 10 days or so at a pace that feels right for me--and I choose to forgive myself for all the weight I've put on and to love and accept myself exactly as I am, anyway."
That kind of set-up statement or affirmation might feel a tad wordy, but it doesn't trigger an immediate, "Who you? Ha!" response from the part of you that sabotages your every effort. That's what happens when an affirmation you come up with is too strong, too sudden, or too scary. It often triggers too much back-talk, either subtle or obvious.
People with self-esteem issues could approach an affirmation like this: "Even though a huge part of me resists seeing myself as having any personal self-worth or value, another part of me knows I do--and I choose to strengthen this second part and heal the first part, starting now."
Having trouble forgiving someone? Try this: "Even though a huge part of me refuses to forgive (person), because, after all, look at what they did, which is unforgivable, another part of me is open to consider forgiving maybe by one percent that this happened, and forgiving that I've held onto it so long, knowing all this resentment and rage is harmful to me."
Just opening the door a tiny crack like this allows for the start of something new -- new energy, new patterning, new hope. I love the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that energetically clears the meridians where old patterning is locked in, while helping "tap in" new affirmations. It's quite magical the way it addresses both the subconscious and the conscious and realigns your neural pathways to strengthen new, positive patterns.
Of course, I am open to helping you if you feel you need assistance. See "More Information" on this blog for details. Meantime, embrace who you are and the possibilities for your life with joy and love!
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